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beatlesmaniagrl
Quill
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Now taking requests just note me
Who am I?

I am not a female or a male, I am both. I identify as queer, I love music, acting, cats, dogs, my parakeets, life, love, laughter, my friends and my family.
Words I live by
Sympathize with the psychopath
I don’t believe in perfection.

Everyone is a f*cking idiot and everyone's a f*cking genius, you f*cking love everyone but you f*cking hate them too, life isn’t black and white it just f*cking isn’t!

Life is a bitch so you gotta f*ck her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I may not thank every new watcher but I appreciate every single one!
:huggle:
My besties (on DA): :iconrosetylah: :iconsillybluemeanie: :icontheoriginalbeatlebug: :iconilennon: :iconseliesidhe: :iconthesilverbeatle:
my boyfriend in real life: :iconduckyousuckers:
EVERY DAY I'M TUMBLRING

Which Hetalia Character Are You?
Which Hetalia Character Are You?
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art on my back by beatlesmaniagrl
art on my back
So, this is a drawing that my boy friend Duckyousuckers drew on me, he can't currently post from his account so he wanted me to do it. I'm thinking about getting the wings as a tattoo. What do you guys think?

DuckYouSuckers
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Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: strong language and ideologically sensitive material)

Warning bad words, drinking mentioned, self-doubt, depression, self-harm

"Ivan?"
"Da?" he mumbles sleepily 
"You found me?"
"Da."
(name) smiled. Ivan had been her best friend for as long as she could remember. They were so close everyone thought you were dating, they went to every dance homecoming and junior prom, but senior prom, it was Alfred. Alfred slowly consumed her life that she had no time for old friends.
"do you want something to eat?" Ivan asked standing up. 
"Just some coffee." 
    Ivan stood and walked off to get said drinks, (name) took the time to look around the room. a picture of the two of them when they were kids sat, framed, on the desk along with a laptop a stack of papers and a cup with pens and pencils in it. On the walls she saw many framed pictures of the two of them throughout the years, the memory in the photos danced before her eyes, taking her into the past.

"(Name)?" Ivan's words brought her back to the real world
"hmm?" 
" Your coffee is ready."
"oh yeah." She followed the Russian into the living room where her drink was waiting. she sat down, mug in hand, on a high backed plush chair, Ivan in an identical one next to her.

"So, Ivan, what have you been up to?"
"Nothing."
"Anyone special in your life?"
"no."
    The conversation went on like this for hours, (name) asks a question, a very short reply from Ivan. (Name) too stubborn to stop asking, Ivan too stubborn to give real answers. 
over the next week Ivan lets her stay there, but the talking is limited.

    By the next month (name) hardly ever saw Ivan, and they slept just across from the hall. Her best friend in the world began to ignore her out of nowhere. Is it because of what happened with Alfred? did she do something wrong? It was evening, the bar was in walking distance, as she does every other day, (name) put on a shirt that says "sorry I'm not sorry", a pair of yoga pants , black combat boots and swings a tan leather jacket over her shoulder as she walks out the door shouting over her shoulder "I'll be back late", wondering if Ivan heard she slams the door behind her.

    Yao is walking to go see Ivan, after he called him in tears, asking Wang to come over. Not much makes Ivan cry so Yao hurried, the bus dropped him off by a bar that was in walking distance from Ivan's home, to run into no one other than (name)

"(name) aru!" he says waving, but name walks right past him tears in her eyes and threw open the bar door. Confused Yao walks to Ivan's place. Word of (name) and Alfred's has spread like wild fire. He walked into Ivan's house to see him on the ground just a few feet from the door, sobbing. 
"Ivan! What is wrong aru?"
"She's gone! she left me!"
"who?"
"(Name), I have been distant, I was just afraid-" He sobbed harder.
Yao helped him up and into the living room, taking off his coat leading him in pants and a green long sleeve.
"Afraid of what? aru?" Yao asked
"Afraid she'd go back to Alfred,and leave me again. Afraid of her finding them" He said rolling up his sleeves to show Wang the Burn scars on both arms. Yao nods.
"She needs to see. aru."
"but she's gone!" Ivan bursts into tears and begins to sob more violently than before. 

    (name) sat at the bar, drunk after a pint of whisky and working on a few shots of vodka. Her frequent visits and being friends with the bar tender, has given her a few perks,taking the rest of the bottle of vodka the bar tender opened for her home after the bar closes, long conversations about her problems with a listening ear, a glass of something in her hand before she even sits down, and an open tab to be paid when she can. 

"can I get a few more?" (name) asks the bartender
"two and you've reached the limit for tonight." 
"OK, hand 'em over." the bar tender passes her 2 shot glassed to add to the line. The vodka burns as (name) takes one and slams it down. 
"did i tell you the story of-" (name) begins.
"your third homecoming and how you kissed your  best friend who happens to be the reason you come here every other day and mid morning on Sundays?"
"You've hear it then."
"twice." The bartender smiles. "but you could tell it again if you want, or the one where you filled the kitty pool with vodka instead and got you and the aforementioned friend drunk at age 13?"
"Okay I get it. I'm out of cool stories to tell."
they laugh together then (name) silents the bartender with a finger. "I'm Not In Love" by 10CC plays 
"This song is my life." (name) whispers drunkenly 
The bar tender smiles as (name) sings along"

"I'm not in love, So don't forget it, It's just a silly phase I'm going through, And just because,I call you up, Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made, I'm not in love, no no..."


Ivan finally stops sobbing and mumbling in Russian for Yao to say.
"I actually saw her going into the bar on the way here, aru."
"Really! lets go then da?" Ivan stands up and makes his way out the door, The Chinese man running to catch up. 



(name) thinks about all those stories and memories with Ivan. Not realizing he is walking in the door right now. 

"I like to see you, But then again, That doesn't mean you mean that much to me"

Ivan stops just two feet away from her, listening to her sing" Yao begins to say something only to have his mouth covered.

"Ooh you'll wait a long time for me, Ooh you'll wait a long time..." 

Ivan closes the distance and put his hand on her shoulder and sings with her as she turns to see who was there, her eyes opening wide.
"I keep your picture Upon the wall, It hides a nasty stain that's lying there, So don't you ask me, To give it back, I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me,I'm not in love, no no."

(Name) jumps and wraps her arms around his neck

"I'm sorry for whatever I did." name mumbles into his scarf crying.

"No, it's my fault, I'll show you when we get home."

When they got home Ivan took (name) to his room, and takes off his shirt. (name) sees burn marks all over his arms and torso.
"They are on my legs too."
"Where did those come from?"
Ivan takes a deep shaky breath.
"I burned my self, the first time was senior prom, seeing you and him dancing together, it killed me inside (name)!"
Ivan went on to tell her that after she and Alfred got together, Alfred told Ivan to stay away from her or he would hurt (name), and for weeks after prom he'd go home and burn himself, thinking it was his fault his friend was in this relationship.
"and then this one," He pointed at the largest one on his chest. "This was when I went to your house to see you two years ago and I saw Your friend (Friends/name) and Alfred sleeping together, He said if I told you or even got close he would" he swallows hard "kill you in front of me. I went home and..." he shutters and tears roll down his eyes.
"I've heard enough." (name)  was crying too she put her hand on the scar and holds him close to her.

"I could have prevented all of this if I had just given you this to begin with."
He unraveled his scarf and sewn into the scarf was a ring, it looked like a little black string bow, but was metal. Ivan pulled it off and put it on (name)'s finger.

"Yes, just yes." (name) whispered as she kissed him gently.

End

To read
7 deviations
:D (Big Grin) :HappyNewYear: Happy New Year 2011 Snowman fella- Happy new year (Messages) New year avatar x"3 Death ballon avatar Llama Emoji-55 (Happy New Year) [V3] Snow Party Blower fella (Party) Dancing Elsa Happy Clap Hamtaro Mouse Emoji-06 (Kawaii Dance) [V1] :Bummies: :happybounce: :excited: :shuffelin: 
Say Something celebration Bear Embrace kiss fella (Love) Fella Heart Kiss (Love) My Dork Dance Italy (Globe Dance) [V2] APH Neko Italy Hetalia Germany spinning NO NEIN Icon APH Neko Germany stance Romano (Mustache Laughs) [V1] Russia (Curse) [V2] Hetalia Spinning Italy Pasta Icon Ve~ England (Laughing) [V3] Austria emote Prussia (Evil Sneaky Plan) [V5] APH Prussia: Sparkles Dansu plz APH Prussia Hetalia Spinning America HAHAHA HA Icon Hetalia Spinning China Aru Icon Prussia  its Awsome Pixel APH Japan: ... Hetalia America (PARTY) Loki lol smile Loki'd La Thor Emote Squee! Swingin' On a Star _revamp_ 
2 ( Numbers ) 0 ( Numbers ) 1 ( Numbers ) 5 ( Numbers ) 
"Mattie?" (name) spoke quietly as to not awake the Canadian. Kumajirou was sitting next to her.
"who is he?"
"Matthew silly." she replied.
"oh" Kuma said as he proceeded to jump onto his owner.
"ow! Kumajirou! how many times do i have to tell you-"
(name) giggled
"Oh Hi (name)" He said blushing
(name) giggled 
"I know what Alfred was doing. He told me and said if i told you he wouldn't let me see you, because he knows I've had a huge crush on you for forever-" Mattie suddenly covered his mouth and blushed harder.
"you what?" (name) blushed beet red.
"I have a crush on you. I always have..." the Canadian whispered.
"Me too, Alfred told me you hated me." (name) smiled softly.
they both looked away from each other their cheeks still bright red.
"Just kiss already!" Kuma burst out.
"Kuma!" they both shouted looking at the bear like it was insane. 
"Just saying." Kuma wandered off.
"I wouldn't mind if you kissed me..." (name) said under her breath. thinking Matthew didn't hear her.  
She found out she was wrong,when suddenly his lips where on hers, briefly but none the less.
"willyoubemygirlfriend?"
"what?"
"will y-you b-be my girlfriend?" mattie asked stuttering.
"yes."

~time skip~
Matthew and (name) had moved to Canada together
it was just a few days after Christmas  
Matthew was at the park with Kumajirou but he had wandered off, and of course it had snowed the day before and snow is what color? White, and what color is Kuma White. 
after an hour of looking Mathew decided to call (name).
"Hello?"
"(name) I'm having  polar bear problems"
"on my way." (name) sighed.
when she arrived she was wearing a white cover up cape and a white long sleeve shirt, blue mittens, white snow boots, and blue hat that said "Let it snow", a present from Gilbert when he found out he was moving to Canada.
"okay lets do this"
She paused for a moment
"KUMAJIROU! COME HERE NOW!" (name) shouted.
And sooner than you can say polar bear problems, the polar bear appeared. 
the temperature was dropping fast, the three of them jumped into the car and got home.

that night Matthew and(name) were cuddling in their pjs when they heard a knock at the door.
"will you get it?' Matthew asked lazily, 
"in this?" (name) motioned to her "pardon my French" sweatshirt, blue plaid pj pants and snow bear slippers" 
"yes." he replied 
"fine" (name) went to get the door.
"Alfred?" Alfred was at the door swaying slightly with a beer in his hand.
"(Name)! sweetie!C'mere" Alfred swung his arm forward,the bottle discard into the snow, trying to get it around (name)'s shoulder, but failing miserably, falling on his face.
Alfred recovered quickly, back on his feet in under a minute. at this point (name) was armed with a fire poker, Matthew was up a  fire extinguisher in hand. 
"Why I oughta..." Alfred swung a punch into thin air.
"
oughta what?" (name) sassed back.
"I 
oughta kill ya'" Alfred was swaggering knocking in to several chairs, as he pulled a hand gun out of his jacket pocket. 
Matthew saw it all happen in front of his eyes as if the whole thing were happening in front of him in slow motion. 
(name) throwing the poker like a spear, grazing his cheek.
Alfred pulling the trigger
the bullet going through (name)s right shoulder and her falling
falling on her back her head cracking on the alter of the fire place and again on the wood floor. 

his own scream sounding far away.
everything was distant after that
Calling the ambulance
getting to the hospital in the police car with Alfred in the back, out cold,
Sitting next to the operation room while they extracted the bullet 
seeing a chunk of her hair buzzed off the back of her head
seeing stitches in her head
sitting next to the bed. 
crying as the doctors told him she was probably going to loose some of her memory, would be wheelchair bound for an unknown amount of time.

he only returned to the here and now when (name) woke up.
"hey, you feeling better?"
"who are you?"

the end?


:D (Big Grin) :HappyNewYear: Happy New Year 2011 Snowman fella- Happy new year (Messages) New year avatar x"3 Death ballon avatar Llama Emoji-55 (Happy New Year) [V3] Snow Party Blower fella (Party) Dancing Elsa Happy Clap Hamtaro Mouse Emoji-06 (Kawaii Dance) [V1] :Bummies: :happybounce: :excited: :shuffelin: 
Say Something celebration Bear Embrace kiss fella (Love) Fella Heart Kiss (Love) My Dork Dance Italy (Globe Dance) [V2] APH Neko Italy Hetalia Germany spinning NO NEIN Icon APH Neko Germany stance Romano (Mustache Laughs) [V1] Russia (Curse) [V2] Hetalia Spinning Italy Pasta Icon Ve~ England (Laughing) [V3] Austria emote Prussia (Evil Sneaky Plan) [V5] APH Prussia: Sparkles Dansu plz APH Prussia Hetalia Spinning America HAHAHA HA Icon Hetalia Spinning China Aru Icon Prussia  its Awsome Pixel APH Japan: ... Hetalia America (PARTY) Loki lol smile Loki'd La Thor Emote Squee! Swingin' On a Star _revamp_ 
2 ( Numbers ) 0 ( Numbers ) 1 ( Numbers ) 5 ( Numbers ) 
Tagged by :iconmissmacca:
WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE? (Name plz)
you asked me too. and Quill is fine.

2. Favorite food, Miss/Mister Y_N?

Lasagna 

3. Best Disney movie EVARRRRR?
That is a hard question. I like Lion King

4. You take the pineapple and the coconut, and you shake it all up!
 I thought it was a lime?

5. Any pets?
3 cats 1 bird

6. OCCUPATION?!
student

7. I see. Any fam-fam?
any what?
8. Siblings????
1 brother younger

9. Pokémon or Digimon?
Pokemon

10. Uke or Seme? (It's yaoi. Yaoi is boyxboy. Uke is boy of the two, seme is man of the two.)
So basically you're asking me top or bottom
well I'm a switch so there.
11. Do you have a GTP (Gifted and Talented Program) at your school?
yes
12. Liking this pointless quiz so far?
I was tagged. I don't know

13. Nyan Cat or Narwhal Song?
.
Nyan Cat

14. Gay, straight, or bisexual?
 Queer

15. How old is chu? (Optional)
17

16. Batman or Robin?

I donno

17. Three more questions! ARE YOU ECSTATIC?!
meh...
18. GOOD FOR YOU THEN. May I take your hat sir? MAY I TAKE YOUR HAAAT SIR? *Says 3434343434 times*
I DONT HAVE A HAT YOU DUMMKOPF
19. "Cause baby you are all that I adore! If love is what you need, a soldier I will be!"
what?
20. IT'S THE END OF THIS QUIZ! TAG FIVE PEOPLE
:iconmavriarch:
:iconjesusdiedforme:
:iconyasmeeeen:
:iconwillow-in-the-wind:
:icondjfawkx:

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